I was just reading this fanfic, Eyes Wide Closed, and I found that Key in this fanfic acts a lot like me. The best quote is from the end,
"always try to distance yourself so you don't get hurt"I do, do that. I, I've been hurt before when I gave myself totally up, and I don't trust anyone with my heart anymore. I keep it locked inside. Even when I'm with someone, friend, fellow classmate, even significant other, there is always that wall that I can't leap. I try to break down the walls, but I can't. There's just that last wall, that I can't break. I've tried, told myself that I should be more open, but like, when I talk, I slam the wall shut. No one can get near.
This is partially why I can't do well in lit, because I can't express emotions without tearing down walls. That's minor. The worst part is, people think I'm keeping stuff away, when I'm not. There was this one guy, I knew that he liked me. He showed me pretty obviously. I thought he was an okay guy. I just never had the guts to reply to his advances. I would not be able to meet his eye. He would stand in front of me, and I would stare at his back, willing him to turn around, but when he did, I'd just turn around myself. I dunno what to do.
Another guy. I stopped saying "I love you", because I couldn't just toss myself to one person so early in life. I can't. I want to, but I can't. It's a good precaution, but then again, I dunno.
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