Link to Fanfic: http://perplexsense.livejournal.com/1171.html
Taemin: “You love the night view, huh, hyung?”
Jonghyun: “Yes. Yes, I do. It somehow brings back memories, hopes, and song lyrics to my head.”
I just read this from a fanfic. I remember when I used to be able to stare out the window and just be mesmerized by the cars going by the front of the home. I used to have so much time to myself. Then, I made mistakes. I hurt others, and being the prideful kid that I was, I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to face it at all. Then, I tried to always live in the present, so that I wouldn't have to deal with the shady past, or the uncertain future. I started trying to be a social butterfly. Sports, leadership positions, grades, I had it all. On top of that, I knew about pop music, knew all the best hits, and chatted with a bunch of people all day. Now I regret not being able to have time to myself, just thinking. I used to think, sleeping = thinking. Not. I need time to just unwind. I remember those memories of the good, old days, when even though I wasn't the best social kid, and I didn't have social problems because I was barely social, but mind was so active. I explored so much, by myself, knew my limits, had hopes. I wanted to be queen of the world, princess, make my mark on society, and now, I just feel like I've killed my dreams. I always looked upon work ethic as easy, looked down on people who couldn't keep on top of things, and now what. I am what I despise. I was so good at choreography and song lyrics back then. I had my own thoughts. Now, I'm just an empty reflection of society. Now, when I have spare time, I want to also sit with a cup of hot chocolate, and sometimes, just stare. Just, remember the good times, and take a long walk down memory lane. Sigh. I've missed so much, just rushing by. I need to take a step back, and just relax. Fanfic lets me do that. Thank you, fanfic. <3 I need to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCwqv9IeSYI&feature=fvst my life. Oh suju <3
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