No.

I did something wrong today. I did something unforgivable. You have every right to hate me. I know I'm becoming too loud these days, too comfortable within my space. I talk loudly and walk proudly. I speak my mind. I'm not fit to keep secrets. Today as I was walking into the classroom, two friends ran up and were going to crash into me if they did not turned. Jumping, an unconscious stream of swear words apparently came out of my mouth. The teacher told me that I said them a while later. I didn't even notice.

also. I saw another person in the art room today. She seemed to know me, and always fell silent when I talked. It was, filled with, some tension.

but you know, if I was someone else watching myself, I would hate myself. I know you say that you don't mind, but still. I had wanted to change this aspect of me a while back, and I've been slacking, especially on tired or sad days, and today happened to be one of both. I make excuses, but I know that they are not okay. I know how much she wants to be your friend again, and how even though she has "gotten better", she's jealous of my position.

I know it's my fault, and how she set it up for me, and I totally fell for it. I should have known this was going to happen, she was never this nice to me before. I opened myself up to her, and let her slice away. When people are insensitive to things that are sensitive to me, it hurts a lot. I let her, because I always wanted her to become better. This is not the truth. I can't stop deceiving myself. We're all still in pain. I jumped into this boat late, and I don't belong.

This particular pain, the one I've caused today, it's again, correct. It's another cold splash. It's a reminder that I really cannot live up to all this hype. I need to focus on one thing at a time. This hurt you, no doubt. It also hurts me. I had a really fun time being so close, and being able to talk about anything and everything that was on my mind. Several times, I warned myself that if I fall from this one friendship, it's going to hurt so badly, because I've revealed so much. Still, I believed in better.

See, I've been thinking about this all day long. Plus, there's been so much jealousy and hate going on about now, especially with the college decisions going out and pplz being ranked by academic prowess. Even though my decision isn't going to impact anything very much, I still want to do it, if only to make myself feel better. It'll be better for you too.

So now, I'm just going to step down.