DECA States Part I

I'M AT STATES, WOOT.
All's good, and I just finished my presentation yesterday, and judge praised me, though idk to believe in it, cuz what if she's just faking it? I'm not bashing on the judge, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Today is roleplays, which Im totally gonna fail, cuz Im totally not studying right now xD. I'm tired. OMG I GOT FIVE HOURS for sleep yesterday xDDD it was amazingggg considering i havent gotten over 4 for like most of the week. >.> So like I saw a shoeshiner xD. It was cool, I never knew those professions existed around here :O.
Theres some stuff happening at home though. Some things that I should have been there to do something about, but i'm NOT THERE. hmm. idk.
AND ALSO. I had a pillow fight yesterday, but i realized pillowfights with 2 pplz are really boring. >.> also, I attacked after the other said time out, and she got mad at me, and then, after the pillow fight, she said she wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the night, and I just fell asleep after that, cuz it was like 2 am, so like, its morning, and we havent talked yet. whut. what if things are strained between us now? wiafadfsaf. ugh. and she slapped me, and then i was like whut, so i kinda slapped her back, but then, she said her arm hurts and she bruises easily. then dont go around slapping others then. ugh. idk how to approach her anymore. we were never really close anyways, its my friends friend, and ive only talked to her for a few times before states. this is gonna be in the back of my mind for the rest of the day now. aklsdf.
so not everythings good. yea. great. but everythings good. and i'm still hecka tired, and i'm going after 2nd place norcal winner for my roleplay, so im probably gonna lose. thats so stupid. i cant help we're from the same school and his name is always before me cuz its alphabetical order and his last name is earlier than mine in the alphabet. This is why i failed last time. cuz its contrast. ugh. and theres like 16-17 pplz in our event, and so its harder than last time, when i was guaranteed a spot onstage with 7 competitors. and the advisor is waiting for me to help sweep the event. and i WONT. he'll hate me for life. i'm so dumb. i shouldnt have signed up for this event. i can't possibly do it. AND i got senioritis. its a combo of me never being super ontask anyways, and anyways its my fault, i shouldnt have done this, im not that type of person, and i dont even really like numbers in the first place.sigh. we'll see how it goes. i probably bombed the test yesterday anyways.

and i know i gotta respect myself and all, and i do, its just, why do i keep doing this one extracurricular that i dont really even like anyways, and is a source of stress? its not even that impt after high school ends, and all the teachers and school hates how we all miss class cuz of comps.

anyways, there might be a part 2 or even more parts depending on my mood later this weekend/into next week. idk, but i'm prepping for it, so that i wont have to come back to change this post later. i'm supposed to be studying, otherwise catching up on sleep.